How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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Why was timmy no longer being bullied at school? The rope said it all! Bitch Died HA

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile. get in the batmobile.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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How do the Kardashians change a light bulb? They buy a new mansion

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because seven threatened to murder his family

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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