Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

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Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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