Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

hi penis ham telephone

Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

Why was the kid running around? He was on fire

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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