Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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