Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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A black person dies.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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How do we stop world hunger? We must first ask ourselves: why don't people eat?

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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