how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

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I named my son ps2 controller

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A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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