Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

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Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

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Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops