What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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whats long and black? a baton

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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Bob: Your mama's so fat, she rolled over four quarters and made a dollar! Todd: YOur mama's so fat, here's a picture of her tied up in my basement. Todd wins the insult war.

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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A blind man walked past a fish store. For a second he thought it might be a womens vaginal odor, but then concluded it was most likely a fish store, and went on with his day.

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

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What's black and breaks your stove when falling from a tree? Your stove

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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AND THE GAME BEGINS ANEW!

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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