Water? I hardly know her.

what do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a spaceship? a dinosaur spaceship

what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

Who's blind but can see, deaf but can hear, and dumb yet can solve the most complex mathematical equations? Helen Keller-Norris

Why did the man fart? He didn't. Stop being so dirty-minded.

What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

there once was a frog with no leggs

Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

Justin Bieber hits puberty

How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

how do you call someone? use a phone

Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

Your girlfriend.

BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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