So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society.

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What starts with F and ends with uck? Fire truck

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Anti Jokes = Drained

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teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

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Roses are black Violets are black I lost my eyesight at two years old and all I see is black.

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What do you call black people in a pool? African american swimmers

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What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

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Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

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What's red and has wheels? A red car

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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whats worse than bitting into ur apple and finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just murded noddy and his family who were making a nice little home in there

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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69

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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