What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man did not like this site

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops