Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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What? Huh?

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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Why did the fat guy ride his camel to the grocery store? Because he didn't want to walk to the grocery store

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops