How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why did the fat guy ride his camel to the grocery store? Because he didn't want to walk to the grocery store

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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What? Huh?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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