Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

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Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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The doctor told a man he had aids. He told his friends he had AIDS so his friends wouldn't sleep with his wife after he died.

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why are anti jokes so funny? cuz u pobably just laughed at this one.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

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What's better than winning $500? Using it to support the Islams to destroy America

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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