How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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