What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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What? Huh?

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

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Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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why are anti jokes so funny? cuz u pobably just laughed at this one.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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