A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

Knock knock! Who's there? Alexis. Hi, come in!

Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see, the fact that he was dyslexic is irellevant.

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

Q: what did Timmy get for his 8th birthday A: killed MR

What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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