What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

Knock knock! Who's there? Alexis. Hi, come in!

why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

Knock Knock Who's There? Steve Steve who? Your friend Steve, you called and told me to come over. Oh, come in.

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

Flowers are colors Love me

How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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