Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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