Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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vatalk you are retarded!!!!!

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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The Princess is in another castle

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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What is 9+10? 19

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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What did Susie do when the music was too loud Nothing

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops