What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

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A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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Waseem is a hard worker.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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What's the difference between a smashed watermelon and a dead black person? One is a minor slip of the hands and the other is a fatal accident involving a human being.

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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