Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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