Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

A black guy, a jew, and an asian walk into a bar, have a beer each, and then leave, because they have high-paying jobs and don't want to risk getting DUIs.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

Why did the Jewish girl fall off the swing? Because Amon Goeth shot her in the head from his balcony with his rifle. --Amon Goeth's friend

How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

What's the difference between a white guy playing basketball and a black guy playing hockey??? There is none..they hardly get playing time!!

Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

What do you do when you see a person sleeping at a bus stop? You fart on their head

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

your mama so old, shes dead.

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit!!

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...