A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's long and black The unemployment line

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the blond sop at a red light? because it was red.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

thumb_up thumb_down +9

h

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops