were at work systems r down

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What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

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Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

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69.

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If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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Your gay

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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