A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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