So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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360 NO SCOPE

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? The tree was a man wearing a tree costume and was sexually assaulting her with his branches. Sally fell off because the cops came and the man threw her down. The tree man is still on the loose. If you have any info please call crime stoppers.

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When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

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Why did the girl start crying? Her pet sunflower had just died.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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What did the orphan get for christmas........Cancer

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Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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That's illegal What? Your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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