What's brown and sticky? Poop.

Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

Face...tastes like chicken!

I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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