What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

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What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops