Anti-jokes are funny.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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