What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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