Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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