What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve you kind here." The black man says, "Is it because I'm black?" The bartender replies, "Yes."

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How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

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Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

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Why did the man think he was hungry? Answer: Because his brain told that he needed to Eat or he was going to be really hungry. Made by eli

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Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

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Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Neither did she.

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A jewish man walks into a bar and then gets hit in the testicles. he now has testicular cancer.

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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i did ur mom lol. thats the joke. : )

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops