Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

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A teenager walked into a bar. A drunk man got angry and beat him to death with a club.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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Why do people waste there time writing Anti-Jokes Becuase they enjoy there right to the 1st ammendment and who are we to question it

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops