If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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sorry, that was a really bad joke, joking just joking, of course we can chat later, you got something in particular to do?

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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Women's Rights

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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Why was the man choking? He was eating to fast.

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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Guess what? You guessed it.

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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