A tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it... Fall on top of a woman and crush her to death

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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What happens after you go to school? (you tell me, i'm only in 6th grade)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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Women's rights

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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Yo momma's so stupid, she got a moderately low score on her SATs, and sadly, was not excepted by any colleges she applied to, and never got a job. This is why she became depressed, and resorted to suicide to escape the growing pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops