My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

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some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

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whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

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A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

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How about that airline food?

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

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What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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