Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A boy tells his friend a 9/11 joke. The boy's friend says "Don't joke about 9/11, my dad died in it." "I'm sorry I didn't know.", responds the boy. "Yeah, that's the last plane he ever flew"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

numbers just make the funniest antijokes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than seeing a real joke on this website? Having diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

mommy mommy! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?! the mom answers shhh youll wake your father...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops