A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

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Jew logic fail: Jew: We have endured suffering for thousands of years! Guy: And how old are you again? Jew: eight. Moral: If you see a goddamn moral in this one then post it yourself :P

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

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Why did the black man go to prison? He committed a crime that had a penalty of several years in the state penitentiary.

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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