Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is red white and blue? the french flag

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do not stand for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do porn stars do after they retire? No clue but some idiot made a movie about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How can you tell the person who stole your car was black? Stereotyping is wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Geoar Bush say after a journalist ask what he was going to do about Katrina? Where gonna find her we do think she has some connection with Alkida .

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Women's Rights Movement

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops