Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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A woman walks into a bar.

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Why did the skeleton cross the street. He didn't.

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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whats something you really wanna call a black person it starts with an "N" and ends in an "R" A. Friend i was joking about the "N" and "R"

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Twinkle twinke little star How I wonder what you are? Star: (Noun) A fixed luminous point in the night sky that is a large, remote incandescent body like the sun.

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One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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There is a boy in a school............. SUDDENTLY, PEDOBEAR APPEARS!

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A:why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side =D B:...i dont think you fully grasp the concept of an anti joke yet...smh -.-

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Yo Momma's so fat......... that she should probably start eating healthy and exercising more regularly or else she may be at risk of developing heart disease or diabetes

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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