knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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One time i was sitting down

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops