Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Hello.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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Why did the Muslim man get on a plane? Because he was going on vacation

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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A man said to his friend that he looks like his mom died. the other man started to cry due to the fact that it was acctually his dad

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You should read the Terms of Service.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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