George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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Obama

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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