chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

http://api.solvemedia.com/papi/media?c=2@4kVxPaRsBr6xmKYFf1AWrnUekZ5Qm16e@VS0Tc9Os5q8ENU8bgrSzdX9APTC4lJjowvMEvv53MnevBtoOvXkqvmo6q3GRjryi4pBIcsYECoiZmERhCMm3t7otsPlwyu31uNcluNyw3UKXeBeML2ZQF3X3Wfs3WC6Cdp-lOv-Y0fRdSiML4k2yPqmVJrbT.a9hCr0BoWsRJvq7n7aejLjOmz3h3eZDdwJaN54pFV-QOvO5sQ5wVZlVq-2yi9hMbBbb213AoVTT7vLIhTq0xcBFvtuMdWdS2jn2ActORr3W16MmSEVcgrS6gA;w=300;h=150;fg=ffffff;bg=5d216b

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

fish fishy caoimhin

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the black man cross the Atlantic? An airplane. He also could have used a boat. However, airplanes are a preferred form of travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why wasent Toby at school He was hit by a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops