Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

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Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

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A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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