Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

star wars kid

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

What's white and gluey Glue

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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