Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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Whats worst than the holocaust? What? 6million Jews.

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what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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