How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why did the big refrigerator fall down the cheese Because i licked my own ear and it got scared and cheese for no raiSOnsD

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Q: what did the black man say after the white man said knock knock A: who's there

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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