A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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Feminism

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Gretta has five legs? -no

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Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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You bumder!

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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My peni s

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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