Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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once there was an anti-joke. it wasn't well thought out or even very creative. what happened to the anti-joke's premise? it got undermined or reversed in the punchline. but the punchline was way too straightforward. so, the whole joke really ended up sucking.

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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