A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

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your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops