Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...