why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: y does obama keep raising gas prices A: he dosent want anyone to be able to drive to the poles in november

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I love pissing people off :P

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So three ants are in a straight line. The first ant said there's an ant behind me, the second ant said there's an ant behind me, and the third ant said there's an ant behind me. Why is this? The third ant lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you make a plumer cry kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops