What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

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whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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What's black on top, and white on the bottom? Rape.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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