A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

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What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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I hate it when I press submit, and I forgot to finish the jo

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Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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A man walks into a casino, and when he walks out his family has no home.

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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A horse walk into a bar. Several people leave, as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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Q:Whats a similarity between your mom and your dad? A:They both hate you -Ryan V

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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