Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

Ebola

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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