An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

sucks Syntax...

Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

Roses are red, Bacon is brown, this poem makes no sence, BACON!!

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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